Is your dissertation legitimate?" My uncle asked. I'm still recovering

[Lisa]

Family gathering last weekend. My uncle, who I haven't seen in years, asks what I'm doing. I say "working on my PhD, writing my dissertation." He nods seriously and says: "Is that a legitimate program? Or one of those online things?"

I wanted to disappear. Or scream. Or both.

My dissertation is on food insecurity among college students. I've done 50 interviews. Analyzed thousands of pages of transcripts. Presented at four conferences. Published one article, working on another. I'm at a top research university with a full funding package.

Legitimate? LEGITIMATE?

I took a breath. Explained calmly. He said "oh, okay" and changed the subject.

This happens constantly. Family who don't understand what a PhD is. Friends who think I'm "still in school" like it's extended undergrad. Strangers who ask if I'm going to be a "real doctor."

I'm learning to let it go. They don't know what they don't know. Their questions come from love, mostly. Or ignorance, not malice.

But still. "Legitimate." That one's going to haunt me

 

[Inessa]

My cousin asked if my "thesis thing" was like a really long book report. I had to walk away. 7 years of higher education, 2 years of fieldwork, a 300-page dissertation, and it's a BOOK REPORT.

Your uncle's question is painful but honestly? It says more about him than you. He literally cannot conceive of what you're doing because he's never been near academia. It's like explaining color to someone who's only seen black and white. Your work is REAL and IMPORTANT even if he can't see it.