I don't even know how to start this post. I'm a 5th year PhD candidate in sociology, and for the last 18 months, I've been in a dark place. The dissertation grind almost broke me. But this week, for the first time, my advisor read a chapter and said "this is almost there." And I cried. Happy tears, for once.
If you're in the thick of it, here's what kept me alive (barely):
I stopped comparing. Social media is a lie. Everyone posting about their "productive writing days" is either lying or manic. I deleted the apps from my phone for 6 months. Best decision ever.
Therapy. Not optional. My university offers free counseling for grad students. I went every two weeks for a year. My therapist didn't care about my dissertation. She cared about me. That separation was crucial.
I found my weird community. Not other grad students in my department (too much competition). I joined an online writing group for people writing dissertations on totally different topics. We don't understand each other's research, but we understand each other's PAIN.
I broke it into atoms. Not chapters. Not sections. Paragraphs. "Today I will write one good paragraph." Some days, that's all I did. Some days, I couldn't even do that. I learned to forgive myself.
I remembered why I started. I went back and read my original proposal. I was so excited about this topic once. That person felt distant, but I tried to channel them.
I'm not done yet. But I can see the end. If you're suffering, please know you're not alone. Reach out. Get help. A dissertation is not worth your life.
Anyone else been through this? How did you survive?
If you're in the thick of it, here's what kept me alive (barely):
I stopped comparing. Social media is a lie. Everyone posting about their "productive writing days" is either lying or manic. I deleted the apps from my phone for 6 months. Best decision ever.
Therapy. Not optional. My university offers free counseling for grad students. I went every two weeks for a year. My therapist didn't care about my dissertation. She cared about me. That separation was crucial.
I found my weird community. Not other grad students in my department (too much competition). I joined an online writing group for people writing dissertations on totally different topics. We don't understand each other's research, but we understand each other's PAIN.
I broke it into atoms. Not chapters. Not sections. Paragraphs. "Today I will write one good paragraph." Some days, that's all I did. Some days, I couldn't even do that. I learned to forgive myself.
I remembered why I started. I went back and read my original proposal. I was so excited about this topic once. That person felt distant, but I tried to channel them.
I'm not done yet. But I can see the end. If you're suffering, please know you're not alone. Reach out. Get help. A dissertation is not worth your life.
Anyone else been through this? How did you survive?
