I stopped sleeping. My writing got worse. I didn't think that was possible. 😴

[Jane]

I thought if I worked longer, I'd get more done. I stopped sleeping. I worked through the night. I wrote. I deleted. I wrote again.

My writing got worse. Not better. I made mistakes. I lost track of arguments. I deleted things I should have kept.

A friend told me to sleep. I said I couldn't. She said to try. Just try.

I tried. I didn't sleep the whole night. But I lay in the dark. I rested. The next day, I wrote more in two hours than I had in the previous three days.

What I learned:

• Sleep is not optional. I thought it was. It's not.
• You can't push through forever. Your body stops. Your brain stops.
• The dissertation will still be there in the morning. I was scared to stop. I thought I'd lose momentum. I don't lose momentum. I lose my mind.

I'm still not sleeping well. But I'm trying.

 

[Emma]

The thing about sleep and writing is that sleep isn't rest from writing. Sleep is part of writing.

Your brain organizes memories during deep sleep. It makes connections. It solves problems you couldn't solve awake. When you skip sleep, you're not just tired. You're stupid. Not permanently. But temporarily.

That friend who told you to just try? Keep her. She's the reason you're not deeper in the hole.

Lying in the dark counts. Rest counts. You don't have to sleep perfectly. You just have to stop trying to write for a few hours. That's the real win.