I bought two chapters. I passed. And now I feel like a fraud.

[Barny]

I don't know who else needs to hear this, but I bought help when I was at my lowest. My mom was sick, I was working 50 hours a week, and the deadline was immovable. I told myself it was just "research assistance." It wasn't.

Here is the thing nobody talks about:
The degree still has my name on it. I defended the work. I rewrote about 40% of what I bought because it wasn't in my voice. So... did I really "buy" it? Or did I outsource a draft?

I'm not looking for absolution. I'm just wondering if anyone else lives with this weird, quiet guilt. You got the degree, you have the job, but you know there's a folder on your hard drive that contains words you didn't fully write.

Or maybe I'm overthinking it and everyone does this to some extent?

Throwaway for obvious reasons. Go easy on me.

 

[OwenStark]

Look, I'm not here to judge you. Life is brutal sometimes. Your mom was sick and you were working 50 hours a week? That's not a situation where you cut corners for fun—that's a situation where you do what you have to do to not completely collapse.

You rewrote almost half of it. You defended it. You passed. That means you understood the material well enough to make it yours. That's more than some people who write every word themselves can say.