No one told me how lonely this would be.
Coursework had structure. Classes. Cohort. Shared misery.
But the dissertation? It's just me. In my office. Staring at a screen. Writing words that no one will read for months. Maybe years.
I went weeks without talking to anyone about my research. Weeks. My partner would ask how it was going, and I'd say "fine," because how do you explain that you've spent three days moving paragraphs around and you're not sure if anything actually improved?
The loneliness crept up on me. I didn't notice it until I found myself having imaginary conversations with my committee members. Justifying my choices to people who weren't there.
That's when I knew something had to change.
I started a writing group. But not a normal one. Not the "let's share our goals and then write silently" kind.
I found three other dissertators in my department. We meet once a week. We don't write. We talk. We read each other's work. We complain. We celebrate small wins.
It's not about accountability. It's about reminding myself that I'm not alone. That other people are in this swamp too.
I'm still lonely sometimes. The writing itself is solitary work. But I'm not isolated anymore.
And that makes all the difference.
If you're in the dissertation swamp right now: find your people. They're out there. You just have to look.
Coursework had structure. Classes. Cohort. Shared misery.
But the dissertation? It's just me. In my office. Staring at a screen. Writing words that no one will read for months. Maybe years.
I went weeks without talking to anyone about my research. Weeks. My partner would ask how it was going, and I'd say "fine," because how do you explain that you've spent three days moving paragraphs around and you're not sure if anything actually improved?
The loneliness crept up on me. I didn't notice it until I found myself having imaginary conversations with my committee members. Justifying my choices to people who weren't there.
That's when I knew something had to change.
I started a writing group. But not a normal one. Not the "let's share our goals and then write silently" kind.
I found three other dissertators in my department. We meet once a week. We don't write. We talk. We read each other's work. We complain. We celebrate small wins.
It's not about accountability. It's about reminding myself that I'm not alone. That other people are in this swamp too.
I'm still lonely sometimes. The writing itself is solitary work. But I'm not isolated anymore.
And that makes all the difference.
If you're in the dissertation swamp right now: find your people. They're out there. You just have to look.
