I'm in year five. I hate my dissertation. I think it's boring. I think my research question is stupid. I think my committee is just being nice when they say it's fine. 
I haven't written anything in six weeks. I open my laptop. I stare at the cursor. I close my laptop.
My therapist says: "You're not blocked. You're afraid." She's probably right.
I'm afraid of writing something bad. I'm afraid of finishing and realizing it was all a waste. I'm afraid of defending and failing.
I've tried everything. Writing groups. Accountability partners. Pomodoro timers. Nothing sticks.
My friend who finished last year said: "You don't have to love your dissertation. You just have to finish it. Treat it like a job. Show up. Do the hours. Don't wait for inspiration."
That's practical. But it's also depressing. Is that really what finishing feels like? Just... showing up?
I miss loving my project. I miss feeling excited.
How do you write when the passion is gone? When it's just... work?
I need strategies. Not platitudes. Actual strategies.
I haven't written anything in six weeks. I open my laptop. I stare at the cursor. I close my laptop.
My therapist says: "You're not blocked. You're afraid." She's probably right.
I'm afraid of writing something bad. I'm afraid of finishing and realizing it was all a waste. I'm afraid of defending and failing.
I've tried everything. Writing groups. Accountability partners. Pomodoro timers. Nothing sticks.
My friend who finished last year said: "You don't have to love your dissertation. You just have to finish it. Treat it like a job. Show up. Do the hours. Don't wait for inspiration."
That's practical. But it's also depressing. Is that really what finishing feels like? Just... showing up?
I miss loving my project. I miss feeling excited.
How do you write when the passion is gone? When it's just... work?
I need strategies. Not platitudes. Actual strategies.
