Found a site offering to write my whole dissertation for $899. Too good to be true?

[Duckduck]

Okay, I know the rule is "if it sounds too good to be true, it is." But I'm desperate. 4th year, working full-time, and my advisor just told me my methodology chapter is "fundamentally unsound."

I found PaperHelp. They're promising a PhD-level, fully original, 200-page dissertation for $899 with a "7-day turnaround."

Red flags I noticed:

• "Unlimited revisions" but only if you purchase the "Platinum" package (+$400)
• The "PhD writers" have stock photos and generic bios
• Trustpilot has 5-star reviews but they're all posted on the same day

Green flags (allegedly):

• Money-back guarantee
• Free plagiarism report
• Live chat answered in 3 seconds

Has anyone actually used these guys? I'm not looking for perfection—I just need to not fail. Send help.

UPDATE: Do not DM me your "cousin's service." I want public reviews or nothing.